Now that fall is upon us, I want to give an example of how my health situation has changed my attitudes and enjoyment of life.
Fall used to be one of my favorite times of year. Spring was first, followed by autumn.
Fall is beautiful. The scenery here in New England is just unbelievable this time of year. Fall is also a time that the weather is cooler. You can work outside or go for a walk without “dying” from the heat. There’s just something about those cool, crisp mornings.
Or, there used to be nothing like those cool, crisp mornings.
Now, fall means two things to me.
It’s COLD. I don’t know if it is my age or the meds I am on, but I get cold so easily now. When I was younger, I used to walk to the mailbox in the snow barefoot and wearing a t-shirt (and pants). Today, I am cold all the time. Fall means being uncomfortable. It means wearing a jacket all the time, even in the house. It means being uncomfortable every time I go outside.
It means winter is coming. Worse yet, it means that even colder weather is coming. Winter means I cannot go out and go for walks anymore. It means I have to figure out another way to get exercise. Now I need to get a treadmill, on top of all of the other expenses I am being inundated with. It means that I am going to be trapped inside the house for 4-5 months by the snow and ice outdoors. It means that I am going to be terrified of falling down every time I go out to get in the car — and if I fall on the ice at my weight, something is going to break. It means that I am going to have to cut back on the quality and quantity of food, and to pass over some of the things that might have helped me, because of the expense of winter heating, winter car repairs, and snow removal.
Fall is not what it used to be to me. Now it means a reduction of activity. It means discomfort all the time. And, it means that the worst is yet to come.
My hope is that one day soon I will find myself in much better health. On that day, I hope, my limitations and weakness will be much less and I will be able to again enjoy some of the things that I used to love so much. This hope helps to motivate me to stay on track when things get difficult.